J Woes

Writing? Haven't really done that in awhile and it's starting to get to me. For the last week, everyday it's gotten a little bit worse. I just want to write a story!

So I Facebooked Brad, half jokingly, half seriously requesting a story for an upcoming edition of Lifeline. His reply said something like I should finally get around to submitting a column or two about my experiences in France.
But I feel kind of iffy about the column idea. Someone who worked at Life a few semesters ago decided to write a column from Italy. All 350 words were ideas that reinforced your stereotypes of that part of the world. It was a huge cliche. I can't help but feel that it's inevitable that my column will turn into something like that, too. People have an idea of what it is like here and that's what they want. They want their anecdotes of dualing baguettes in front of the Eiffel Tower.
My head keeps reeling with this stupid headline "American Girl in Paris: Part Un, Part deux, Part trois." When I look through my outlined ideas on paper, I just can't shake that whole vibe that it's this postcard that reads: "Hello from this land of mustached, accordion playing men, who wear stripes with berets and smell strongly of cologne and cigarettes. Wish you were here."
My other attempts were something like: Hey, let's talk about the election for the 80 thousandth time in this single issue of CM Life. When it gets right down to it, is there really anyone left on that campus that doesn't know that Europe is overwhelmingly pro Obama. And I mean, who cares what things are different and what is the same. WHO CARES? If something stellar comes to me, then it comes to me.

Speaking of uncertainty, I'm really feeling bizarre about applying for Spring Managing Editor. I've been weighing the pros and cons. Unsurprisingly, there are far more cons than pros. But one of these positives stands out above the others and makes it really difficult for me to say no to the job: It's going to make me a better writer. There are a million reasons not to do it, but because I want more than anything to be the best, I have to say yes.

I've known since last September that I am a writer, ride or die, not an editor. And even though my loyalty lies in feature writing, I still jump up and down and beg for the breaking news stories. What's on fire? How many people are dead? I can be there in five minutes-- PICK ME! It's going to be so hard watching these terrified kids go out after what should have been MY story.

I've also asked myself: Is this really worth my sanity? I've seen people's mental health fall into the toilet bowl after three weeks at that job. It's like a permanent frown is a part of the mandatory dress code. I can see it now: reading terrible lead after terrible lead, just pushing the content up because we don't have the convenience of the reporters standing by to make their stories sound better.

Speaking of that, I have noticed that I have come to hate collegiate journalism. It's just more math formula than it is magic. I know that news writing is straight to the point, but still, you should try to think outside the box. If it's a coverage, stop and find the human element. BE CREATIVE. I'm in my fourth year at CMU and I've seen the Mainstage story three times. How can we make it different this time around? I've seen so much laziness in the past few years, it drives me crazy. Do a good job or just don't do the job at all!
When I was in Lifeline, I would often call my reporters and ask them to be more creative with their story. And if it still wasn't quite what we were looking for on the second attempt, I'd have at it myself. I was lucky to have a little bit of time to ensure we had quality writing. But, that's not how it's going to be at the news desk. Get it, read it, ask questions, send it up. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

The application deadline is quickly approaching so I need to make a decision soon. I'm going to throw my hat in and see what happens, but, I still just don't know. I feel like this is my obligation, that it's in the stars that my name goes on that desk.

Ona related note, I haven't really had anyone to talk shop with since my arrival.
I was talking to someone the other day in the CIDEF computer lab, when a girl sitting to my left made an interjection "I just overheard you mention you were a journalist and I'm a journalist, too!"
I immediately noticed that she was one of those kinds of ultra happy, bubbly people who laugh after every thing they say. That should have been my first clue. After the usual 20 questions, I was disappointed to learn that she was actually a PR major. To the untrained eye, these two jobs seem very similar, but they are in fact, very different. Public Relations people cover up the truth or try to pitch commercials as stories. I actually get really insulted when people put us on the same plane.

The world would be a better place if I could always just focus on the here and now instead of always wondering about the next step.