Fake Smiles

Once my mother made a drive thru employee cry.

I was 6 or 7 years old and my mom had had a pretty awful day. A home cooked meal was out of the question, McDonalds was close and so that was it. This wasn't too unusual so we knew the drill--Do what she asked of us, shut up, don't spill French fries all over the car and we were in good shape. Even back then I was confident that it was occasions like these that inspired the creation of fast food chains all together.
I remember mom staring blankly at the largest of the three cups in the paper tray that the girl in the window had just passed through the driver's side window. "What is this?" Only, it wasn't a question because she had no intention of waiting for an answer.

"I asked for a Diet Coke with NO ice. You know. WITHOUT ice."

The McDonalds employee apologized and reached her arm through the window to take back the tray, to correct the problem. But my mother wasn't done. Clearly this girl's absent minded reflex to fill the cup with ice, just like filled all of the other cups all day long, was a personal attack. Actual shouting at this person, name calling took place for over a minute before my mother handed back the cup. Tears streamed down her face as my sister and I slumped in the backseat as though we were trying to become become smaller somehow, if only to disappear. Even as a 1st grader, I realized that this was not normal and that people should never be treated this way. Consequently, I've always been extra nice, genuine to those working in the food industry and retail. Now that I work retail, I wish the same could be said for all people.

Phil once said something to me along the lines of "everyone should spend some time working retail at least once in their life." I really couldn't agree more. It humbles you, teaches you to appreciate things more and it helps you to realize things about humanity. Lately, these realizations haven't been the most uplifting. For starters, the holidays really do bring out the worst in people. This year Thanksgiving wasn't so much about giving thanks and goodwill. People were cranky and they just wanted their groceries as quickly as possible. During many of these individual pursuits for turkey, gravy or whatever, I was firmly grabbed by the wrist at the register because one man "didn't want his bag in a cart," rammed with a cart multiple times in the shin (When my eyes welled up with tears the third time I was hit in the exact same place, one woman muttered 'Oh, sorry' and continued throwing groceries on the check out counter) and I was shouted at. It was like I wasn't even a person. Meanwhile, the Christmas music played on.

I'm also irritated by how predictable people are. I have the same conversation hundreds of times per day.

Me: "Hi. How are you?"
Customer: "Good. How are you? (not interested in reply as they throw their stuff on the counter.)
**In case of sunshine/warm temperatures**
Customer: "Weather's really great today!"
**In case of rain/cold temperatures**
Customer: "Really wish the weather was better like last week. Last week was great.

**In case they brought their own reusable bags**
Me: "Would you like to enter our drawing since you brought your own bags?"
Customer: "Sure, even though I never win." or "Gotta win one of these times." *fake laughter*
**In case they didn't bring their own reusuable bags**
Customer (always makes sure to tell me): "Oh, I forgot my bags."

**In case something won't scan and I have to manually type it in**
Customer: "Oh, well then it's free" *fake laughter or plastic, obnoxious smile*

Customer: "Is this pinpad new?"
Me: "Yes. We got them about two months ago."

**In case customer's total is less than $25**
Customer: "Oh. I don't need to sign?"
Me: "Nope. Not if it's less than $25."

Why always with the fake laughter, guys? It's not funny so why even pretend to laugh? And the fake smiles? That didn't even look real! If it's an effort to make me feel more comfortable with you, you just struck out. I'd rather you be genuine. Just be you. And when you resort to small talk, try something other than the weather. Try global events or the song playing over the intercom or a movie you caught over the weekend. Weather discussions are just plain weak and I've held the philosophy to avoid them for as long as I can remember. I will consciously try to start conversations about other subjects and people become thrown off, some even noticebly irritated by this. They want conversation so they can do their fake laughs, but people are comfortable with weather so that's all they want to discuss.

This entry may read extremely whiny. I know a job's a job and fake smiling is all a part of the one I got. It's just hard. Lately, I've been having a pretty bad case of the blues. I realized today it's because I've worked five days in a row the same shift each day--2:30-11 p.m. Each day has been identical and mundane. My job's not a creative one with my means of expressing myself limited to my shoes and scarf, and it's upsetting. I just keep telling myself I'm a step closer to a "real" job. You know, the kind that requires that degree I earned.